Yo, yo what's up online diary? Or people. If people actually read this.
I know it's been forever since I actually wrote anything interesting. I'm afraid that this time won't be any different.
So, what has occurred since my last entry? Ohhhh quite a bloody bit I'm guessing. More than a year it seems. And recapping. I have been with the guy I mentioned in a previous post for DUMDUMDUMMMMM. Nearly 2 years on January 13th, I can't believe it. This guy when I first met him was just a cute Archery fellow who was cute and had a slight accent and who made me feel incredible. Now he is my boyfriend of two years! Ha.
It's kind of scary, my life right now. I've graduated from University and I've moved away from home (officially, none of the I'm living here for Uni nonsense) I am away from home.
The sitch:
I am living with my boyfriend (who is a year younger and currently a student). His best friend (Who is 33 and also a student) and his girlfriend (who is the same age as me and oh look at that she's a student too!). I am the only one who has graduated and to say its awkward is a bit of an understatement.
Firstly the house we live is a decent house with 3 bedrooms, the main bedroom is their room (forget the fact that we had planned to flip a coin to see who gets the room) Ours is right next door and is surprisingly about half the size. The spare room is being used as a study (that no-one uses, also forget the fact that we said that the couple who has the smaller room get the spare room to put their extra stuff in).
I am technically living here without paying rent at the minute. Or anything towards bills. Because I want to find a job first which is excellent and so lovely and patient of the people I am living with. But when I am expected to be a maid to said people. It can put a downer on things.
So I've signed on at JobCentre (LAST RESORT) and it is a pain in the ass. If I didn't need the money I would never ever even consider doing it.
But the other couple have apparently run out of money already. And I don't mean gonna have to scrimp for Christmas prezzies I mean that he literally couldn't afford a card or present for her birthday.
I know student life can have its struggles with money but I was never THAT bad.
It's getting tough being in such close quarters with people especially when I rarely leave the house (who knew you could apply for jobs EVERYWHERE online?)
Apart from that I feel kinda numb, like I just don't give a crap anymore about anything. I mean I clean I eat I look for jobs I shower I look for jobs I clean I eat. I am doing the same things everyday.
I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
I would say that my boyfriend is helping but it's sad to say that he isn't.
It's his third year so he has studying and dissertation to sort out. But instead he's been working on his warhammer. Then we were in town shopping and I said why don't you ask the shop owner if there's any jobs available and he got one. It just seems to come so easy for him.
And he doesn't understand why I'm hiding in my room away from the babyish antics of our housemates. Seeing a 33 year old say Wagga Juice is just sickening. For some strange reason they say Wagga Juice when they mean tea. Just say Tea. You are 33.
So that's what I'm doing at the minute I'm currently sat on my arse in my room alone writing this blog and considering having a fag a shower and then watch some Sabrina the Teenage Witch which will definitely cheer me up.
I thank you for allowing me to rant cyber peeps. But if anyone does know where I can go from here just comment below? I need all the help I can get. TTFN.
Tuesday, 12 November 2013
Tuesday, 24 January 2012
Imperfections
Okay imperfections, whether it be a spot on a clear face or a hair raising scar on someones body, they aren't all bad. But the ones I am going to mention will be. I'm not saying I'm perfect far from it. I'm overweight, sarcastic, lazy and cerdiddly not the brightest bulb. But there are just some things that tick me off to the max.
Rudeness - to be blunt. Like my housemate for example she calls her parents for 3 hours at a time. (What the hell does she talk to her parents about for 3 Hours???) I can barely last on the phone for 10 - 15 minutes with my Mum. But that's not the wierd part. She isn't a quiet person. She is a geordie aswell (not dissing the geordies). She almost shouts down the phone to her parents. I can hear her upstairs in her room whilst I am downstairs having a fag. (Her room is at the front whilst I smoke out back). I can basically hear all her conversations and they are not thrilling at all. I go somewhere private to talk to my Mum or to anyone who happens to be calling me, as does our other housemate. Ah but not her, she thinks that because she needs to hear it everyone else should too. Even when they are quietly doing their work or watching something interesting on the telly she shouts over it. JUST LEAVE THE ROOM!
Materialistic - Okay I have a rather large dvd and book collection. And yes I sometimes brag, not because "oh look how much money I've spent" more like "bargain! Got it for a squid!" but someone I know is seriously materialistic. She is all about the UGGS and Toms. I don't have a problem with it. I sometimes buy converse but most of the time I just go to shoezone and get cheap versions. She will brag about her pandora bracelet and how much money her parents spent on her. Yeah I guess a little part of me is jealous. But most of it is just pissed off at how inconsiderate she is. She knows I come from a crappy place. Knows I live in a council house and my Mum had 3 jobs to keep us living okay. But she comes in and says oh they spent blah blah blah on me. The worst part is she thinks there is nothing wrong with acting this way. We had a conversation about worse off people and she said "I don't care. It's their own fault." I felt like snapping her tree trunk neck!
Sluts - not gonna beat around the bush (get it?) but I hate them. One of my housemates is a particularly nasty one. You consider sluts to be big boobed blondey girly girls right? Who have only an onch of waist and legs that last a mile. She isn't. I am taller than her! And I am a shortass! She isn't exacty slender either. I mean she has big boobs but I think it's fat not boob. She also has a fiance who she has cheated on many a time. I don't know how she gets away with it really. The worse part is she finds it amusing.
Barry Bullshits: In other words liars. Our housemate who left (thank whoever) was such a Barry about almost everything. (Oh I'm dating a secret millionaire) (Oh I had sex with Irish). It's annoying, I could kind of understand it if I gave a flying rats bottom about anything she talked about but no I don't. So it is just pathetic. Same with a housemate who is still with us. I doubt she has done half the stuff she's talked about. But for some reason she thinks it impresses us.
There are some cute imperfections though. Like my boyfriend Adam. He has a crooked nose. And he always complains about it, but I think it's cute. I have a lopsided smile that he thinks is really adorable. My friend Mandy is totally shy (She is the socially awkward one) but I find it intriguing. Some imperfections are amazing. But some we just don't need. Then again it makes life more interesting. It wouldn't be fun if everything was perfect. Yay for imperfections!!!
Catch you later dudes! (Y)
Rudeness - to be blunt. Like my housemate for example she calls her parents for 3 hours at a time. (What the hell does she talk to her parents about for 3 Hours???) I can barely last on the phone for 10 - 15 minutes with my Mum. But that's not the wierd part. She isn't a quiet person. She is a geordie aswell (not dissing the geordies). She almost shouts down the phone to her parents. I can hear her upstairs in her room whilst I am downstairs having a fag. (Her room is at the front whilst I smoke out back). I can basically hear all her conversations and they are not thrilling at all. I go somewhere private to talk to my Mum or to anyone who happens to be calling me, as does our other housemate. Ah but not her, she thinks that because she needs to hear it everyone else should too. Even when they are quietly doing their work or watching something interesting on the telly she shouts over it. JUST LEAVE THE ROOM!
Materialistic - Okay I have a rather large dvd and book collection. And yes I sometimes brag, not because "oh look how much money I've spent" more like "bargain! Got it for a squid!" but someone I know is seriously materialistic. She is all about the UGGS and Toms. I don't have a problem with it. I sometimes buy converse but most of the time I just go to shoezone and get cheap versions. She will brag about her pandora bracelet and how much money her parents spent on her. Yeah I guess a little part of me is jealous. But most of it is just pissed off at how inconsiderate she is. She knows I come from a crappy place. Knows I live in a council house and my Mum had 3 jobs to keep us living okay. But she comes in and says oh they spent blah blah blah on me. The worst part is she thinks there is nothing wrong with acting this way. We had a conversation about worse off people and she said "I don't care. It's their own fault." I felt like snapping her tree trunk neck!
Sluts - not gonna beat around the bush (get it?) but I hate them. One of my housemates is a particularly nasty one. You consider sluts to be big boobed blondey girly girls right? Who have only an onch of waist and legs that last a mile. She isn't. I am taller than her! And I am a shortass! She isn't exacty slender either. I mean she has big boobs but I think it's fat not boob. She also has a fiance who she has cheated on many a time. I don't know how she gets away with it really. The worse part is she finds it amusing.
Barry Bullshits: In other words liars. Our housemate who left (thank whoever) was such a Barry about almost everything. (Oh I'm dating a secret millionaire) (Oh I had sex with Irish). It's annoying, I could kind of understand it if I gave a flying rats bottom about anything she talked about but no I don't. So it is just pathetic. Same with a housemate who is still with us. I doubt she has done half the stuff she's talked about. But for some reason she thinks it impresses us.
There are some cute imperfections though. Like my boyfriend Adam. He has a crooked nose. And he always complains about it, but I think it's cute. I have a lopsided smile that he thinks is really adorable. My friend Mandy is totally shy (She is the socially awkward one) but I find it intriguing. Some imperfections are amazing. But some we just don't need. Then again it makes life more interesting. It wouldn't be fun if everything was perfect. Yay for imperfections!!!
Catch you later dudes! (Y)
Soap Suds
My feeling towards Soaps is similar to the feeling of X-Factor. I dislike it muchly. But I'm not prejudice to people who do enjoy monotonous themes and bad acting. My Grandma is one of them. But she is just that a Grandma. I can understand my Mum watching it. I can understand that people will think the same thing about me watching Misfits, Teen Wolf or any type of film. But the good thing about those things is that they are different, and unique. They do not revamp an ancient story line and dress it up as something else.
The only problem is since one of my more stubborn housemates (TASH) loves the soaps so much and she doesn't like to watch them in her room I have to watch them too if I want to be considered social. Funny that since when the soaps are on she is THE most anti-social prick in the whole world. And because these things are happening before my very eyes I have questions to ask. I get curious. She misreads this as enjoyment. It isn't believe me. If I have to hear her say "You like it really" one more time I swear I absolutely will retire to my room whenever she puts them damn shows on the television.
She is so stubborn and selfish I can't even explain, but here is an idea of what she is like. I could be watching something on television she will come back from University and take (TAKE) the remote off me to put something else on. I once sarcastically said "it's polite to ask first" and she completely went off on one. So you see if I did say something about the soaps I might get the remote shoved down my throat. Or not since it clearly is her best friend. Either way I'd rather not risk it. So I will take deep breaths, block out the fuzz and hope the soap suds don't start running from my ears. TTFN!
The only problem is since one of my more stubborn housemates (TASH) loves the soaps so much and she doesn't like to watch them in her room I have to watch them too if I want to be considered social. Funny that since when the soaps are on she is THE most anti-social prick in the whole world. And because these things are happening before my very eyes I have questions to ask. I get curious. She misreads this as enjoyment. It isn't believe me. If I have to hear her say "You like it really" one more time I swear I absolutely will retire to my room whenever she puts them damn shows on the television.
She is so stubborn and selfish I can't even explain, but here is an idea of what she is like. I could be watching something on television she will come back from University and take (TAKE) the remote off me to put something else on. I once sarcastically said "it's polite to ask first" and she completely went off on one. So you see if I did say something about the soaps I might get the remote shoved down my throat. Or not since it clearly is her best friend. Either way I'd rather not risk it. So I will take deep breaths, block out the fuzz and hope the soap suds don't start running from my ears. TTFN!
Procrastination or just being lazy?
Procrastination. We have all done it. When you desperately need to tidy your room but decide to just go on facebook or twitter or some other mundane site just to pass the time. Or maybe you tidy your room just to keep you away from that essay that needs to be in. I am currently procrastinating life. Okay that was a bit OTT. I do have work to be doing, I have a story to write and an essay to research not to mention a presentation that needs to be looked at, but I am currently in the living room writing a blog/looking at facebook/ contemplating going out with friends/ watching Holby City (just clarifying I did not choose it). I could be using this time to write the short story but for some reason I can't. Not I can't be bothered.. I just can't. Every single time I try to create something tangible it blows up/ hits a wall and I am sat there pulling my hair out trying to think of a hook.
I could go out with friends. In fact I would love to go out to The Box tonight, drink and be merry. But my housemates just do not put me in the mood. Watching soaps on the telly does that to you. Not to mention hardly anyone I know is going out. It's not that I always need someone there.... well actually it kind of is. I'm a shy person, sometimes socially awkward although not as much as my housemate (Mandy bless her soul). When I have a couple of drinks in me I am as sociable as anyone. But I cannot just show up there alone. I just can't. So my boyfriend is trying to change my mind. *Come drink with us* but I don't know his friends (insert me being socially awkward) my other friends (outside the house) are either ill, M.I.A (probs ill) or just not The Box people. So I have a plan for this evening, I will proceed to look at facebook, I might change the channel so I won't have to see needles every 5 minutes and I will have a long luxurious bubble bath. In all fairness this chair is so comfortable and warm I might not move from it all evening. Is that more procrastination? Or just plain laziness?
Keep passing the open windows!
I could go out with friends. In fact I would love to go out to The Box tonight, drink and be merry. But my housemates just do not put me in the mood. Watching soaps on the telly does that to you. Not to mention hardly anyone I know is going out. It's not that I always need someone there.... well actually it kind of is. I'm a shy person, sometimes socially awkward although not as much as my housemate (Mandy bless her soul). When I have a couple of drinks in me I am as sociable as anyone. But I cannot just show up there alone. I just can't. So my boyfriend is trying to change my mind. *Come drink with us* but I don't know his friends (insert me being socially awkward) my other friends (outside the house) are either ill, M.I.A (probs ill) or just not The Box people. So I have a plan for this evening, I will proceed to look at facebook, I might change the channel so I won't have to see needles every 5 minutes and I will have a long luxurious bubble bath. In all fairness this chair is so comfortable and warm I might not move from it all evening. Is that more procrastination? Or just plain laziness?
Keep passing the open windows!
Sunday, 25 December 2011
The Christmas Spirits!
Well well, the 25th of December. For the first time in a while I woke before my alarm. I sat up hearing my Momma Love in the kitchen and smiled. But I laid back down and waited for her to tell me to get up. I knew she had a lot to do so I didn't want to crowd her. But when I heard her shout me I knew she was just as excited as I was to get into the living room and open all the presents!
So I did, but not before having a wake up smoke. But I kept finding myself stopping and watching my Mum as she opened some of hers. To see the smile on her face as she gets ANOTHER "A Christmas Carol" on Dvd (addiction don't know why?) or her favourite perfume or chocolates. I noticed that when I opened my presents she was watching to see my reaction. Even at 20 years old she just wanted me to be happy. And I'm guessing it's because I am older now that I want to watch and see if she is pleased herself. I know christmas isn't supposed to be about the presents. It is about family and being together, but I find that you know how much someone cares by the types of gifts they give you. My sister remembered a facebook status i'd posted about being impressed by a scrabble ring, so she got me one. My Mum noticed me checking out some books and quicky snatched one up. I didn't have much money to spend this christmas so I could only give little things. But my sister went all teary eyed when she opened the picture frame with a picture of us in it from one of our girly nights.
It has been a brilliant day, and hopefully a brilliant night, as I'm headed to my sisters for food, drinks and ohhhh the fun and games. Especially the drinks though.
So just remember that presents isn't what it's all about. Be happy that you are with people who you care about and who care about you.
Merry Christmas Cyber People! Get drunk be merry and raise those christmas spirits! <3
So I did, but not before having a wake up smoke. But I kept finding myself stopping and watching my Mum as she opened some of hers. To see the smile on her face as she gets ANOTHER "A Christmas Carol" on Dvd (addiction don't know why?) or her favourite perfume or chocolates. I noticed that when I opened my presents she was watching to see my reaction. Even at 20 years old she just wanted me to be happy. And I'm guessing it's because I am older now that I want to watch and see if she is pleased herself. I know christmas isn't supposed to be about the presents. It is about family and being together, but I find that you know how much someone cares by the types of gifts they give you. My sister remembered a facebook status i'd posted about being impressed by a scrabble ring, so she got me one. My Mum noticed me checking out some books and quicky snatched one up. I didn't have much money to spend this christmas so I could only give little things. But my sister went all teary eyed when she opened the picture frame with a picture of us in it from one of our girly nights.
It has been a brilliant day, and hopefully a brilliant night, as I'm headed to my sisters for food, drinks and ohhhh the fun and games. Especially the drinks though.
So just remember that presents isn't what it's all about. Be happy that you are with people who you care about and who care about you.
Merry Christmas Cyber People! Get drunk be merry and raise those christmas spirits! <3
Thursday, 22 December 2011
Christmas Crappers.
Okay, I understand that at christmas everything is a little tight (waistline and money bags). Of course I understand this being that I have just moved into a house at university with this comes extra bills, gas, electric, tv licence, sky, phone (which I DO NOT USE). So this christmas I have like no money to spend on family. My mother tells me that my Dad got some money back from taxes (no idea why) and that he said he'd be happy to help. I can guarantee that he won't and if he does. Well there will be an absolutely amazed outburst later on. But he says I have to wait until saturday (reminder saturday 24th would be christmas frickin' eve!) so once again I have to wear a santa hat (mine is usually black and says bah humbug, my fathers idea of a joke because I used to wear black all the time) and go shopping at the most ridiculous time for my beloved mother and a stupid wench my Dad calls his girlfriend. Stupid Wench also knows I have minimal funds to spend and when I ask her what I can get for my little sister (half-sister 10 years of age) she says oh get her that blah blah blah One Direction cd. Yes it is only £10 but this means it is ALL I can get her and I feel a right bitch. Not that she would care because she is ten and she is happy to see Harry on the front cover. I then ask her about what to get my Dad. She has no clue. This would be the woman who when I asked my fathers shoe size she said "oh he can be a 6, 7, or an 8". (She has lived with the man for at LEAST 10 years, you'd think she would know this by now). So I am livid. Livid that this stupid woman my Dad "loves" has put me in this awful position (yes I know I shouldn't have spent so much of my student finance on crap but she is not helping matters).
I am not a selfish person, but I can see that if someone looked at the gifts I get at christmas and the gifts I give people will think I am. I am just not a very good gift giver, my elder sister is somehow every year she astounds me with the things she gets me. All I can give her is a beloved dvd of a film we watched and loved when younger. I try harder for my Mum because she basically raised me alone and she deserves so much (long story). I have already bought her a gift, (she has some weird obsession with "A Christmas Carol" so I bought her the new one) I need to get her the Indiana Jones box set, Slippers, Lace (perfume) and after 8's (her faves). The problem with Mum is that she does not write a list, she just says things in passing that I will never rememeber ever. Wench writes a list (presumptious eh?) and she EXPECTS everything off of the list. So every year I try and think of MORE presents for Mum because lets face it it is not fair if Wench gets more. I have saved all of Mum's present buying for Saturday and I swear if he says i'm paying for Mum myself whilst he pays for Wenches I am going to scratch his eyes out.
Ahhh relax now, only 2 days (ish) til the shopping is either underway or over. I absolutely cannot wait. Then I can spend christmas with Mum and boxing say (cringe) with Dad and my lil sis and his girlfriend. It sucks because usually I totally dig christmas, spending time with the family and shizzle. But now I'm thinking, I get to forget about all this crappiness for a day and just chillax and by the time I have chance to think about it the fume will be long gone like the wrapping paper and boxes that my presents have come in. I do not know if I will write anymore before the spectacular day so I will say now. Merry Christmas to all! And have a Happy New Year. Keep passing the open windows.
I am not a selfish person, but I can see that if someone looked at the gifts I get at christmas and the gifts I give people will think I am. I am just not a very good gift giver, my elder sister is somehow every year she astounds me with the things she gets me. All I can give her is a beloved dvd of a film we watched and loved when younger. I try harder for my Mum because she basically raised me alone and she deserves so much (long story). I have already bought her a gift, (she has some weird obsession with "A Christmas Carol" so I bought her the new one) I need to get her the Indiana Jones box set, Slippers, Lace (perfume) and after 8's (her faves). The problem with Mum is that she does not write a list, she just says things in passing that I will never rememeber ever. Wench writes a list (presumptious eh?) and she EXPECTS everything off of the list. So every year I try and think of MORE presents for Mum because lets face it it is not fair if Wench gets more. I have saved all of Mum's present buying for Saturday and I swear if he says i'm paying for Mum myself whilst he pays for Wenches I am going to scratch his eyes out.
Ahhh relax now, only 2 days (ish) til the shopping is either underway or over. I absolutely cannot wait. Then I can spend christmas with Mum and boxing say (cringe) with Dad and my lil sis and his girlfriend. It sucks because usually I totally dig christmas, spending time with the family and shizzle. But now I'm thinking, I get to forget about all this crappiness for a day and just chillax and by the time I have chance to think about it the fume will be long gone like the wrapping paper and boxes that my presents have come in. I do not know if I will write anymore before the spectacular day so I will say now. Merry Christmas to all! And have a Happy New Year. Keep passing the open windows.
Hello People!
I am not even sure if people read this but never mind I shall carry on eh?
Right I must apologise for the increasingly depressing things I write. But my friends have mentioned that I write to make myself feel better. If I stop I might blow up.
Soooo it has been a while, a few months in fact. And not a damn lot has happened since. Well you know that saying "You wait for one bus and three come at once?" it kind of links to me at the moment (but not relating to buses because the buses around here are absolute pants! I waited for nearly half an hour for a bus! And it is not like there is a load/any of snow around her so goodness knows what that bus driver was playing at!) No I am relating this saying to men/guys/boys, there are/were 3.
1) "Fliend" He is lovely, sweet, funny if emotionally stunted. But he is a really good friend of mine and i have never ever thought of him in that way. Until now.
2) "New guy", first year at Uni we just clicked, and one night after going out to a club things happened (sorry no details for you) and now we are basically seeing one another but without the verbal contract.
3) "Old boyfriend" and since I gave another old boyfriend more than enough chances I am more inclined to NO SECOND CHANCES. But he insists there is chemistry there. And yes I agree there is but it does not mean I intend to act upon it. So there he is all wanty and needy.
My housemate at UNI thinks this is great, she wishes it would happen to her. But no I disagree, profusely, it is not fun when you have to hurt a dear friend of yours and your head is spinning with all the "what if's". Not to mention that it's great to be involved with someone, but when it's about a 3 week vacation you completely ending up missing the soppy but oh so sweet guy you get to kiss and cuddle usually at LEAST once a day. But what is a girl to do? I am glad there are people out there that feel my pain. Because believe it or not this is stressful. Live long and prosper cyber beings!
I am not even sure if people read this but never mind I shall carry on eh?
Right I must apologise for the increasingly depressing things I write. But my friends have mentioned that I write to make myself feel better. If I stop I might blow up.
Soooo it has been a while, a few months in fact. And not a damn lot has happened since. Well you know that saying "You wait for one bus and three come at once?" it kind of links to me at the moment (but not relating to buses because the buses around here are absolute pants! I waited for nearly half an hour for a bus! And it is not like there is a load/any of snow around her so goodness knows what that bus driver was playing at!) No I am relating this saying to men/guys/boys, there are/were 3.
1) "Fliend" He is lovely, sweet, funny if emotionally stunted. But he is a really good friend of mine and i have never ever thought of him in that way. Until now.
2) "New guy", first year at Uni we just clicked, and one night after going out to a club things happened (sorry no details for you) and now we are basically seeing one another but without the verbal contract.
3) "Old boyfriend" and since I gave another old boyfriend more than enough chances I am more inclined to NO SECOND CHANCES. But he insists there is chemistry there. And yes I agree there is but it does not mean I intend to act upon it. So there he is all wanty and needy.
My housemate at UNI thinks this is great, she wishes it would happen to her. But no I disagree, profusely, it is not fun when you have to hurt a dear friend of yours and your head is spinning with all the "what if's". Not to mention that it's great to be involved with someone, but when it's about a 3 week vacation you completely ending up missing the soppy but oh so sweet guy you get to kiss and cuddle usually at LEAST once a day. But what is a girl to do? I am glad there are people out there that feel my pain. Because believe it or not this is stressful. Live long and prosper cyber beings!
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